Are you an aspie? (Aspergers Syndrome)

[Brad Reddekopp]

But, Franc, you eventually travelled across a border and a continent to meet someone you'd previously only encountered online.

[Brad Reddekopp]

Wow Brad, you got a lot farther than I did.

Well, after all, I was a musician. I was a geek and a freak but I was good at making music, which made up for a lot, I guess.

[tism]

There are no stories to tell because I had no girlfriends or anyone interested in me. I did stalk a girl for a couple months, though.

Well, that's a story.

But, Franc, you eventually travelled across a border and a continent to meet someone you'd previously only encountered online.

Franc did not travel across something that doesn't exist!

[Nokes]

I used to be more hopeless before, I couldn't even look at stranger's faces while talking to them, I was so introverted I was basically a bit of a cripple.

I was a social cripple in school.

In grade 6, a couple of girls on the playground said "Hi". They were just being friendly but I thought it was some new, twisted way of making fun of me so I walked away.

In grade 8, I was getting changed in the boy's changing room beside the pool in our apartment complex. It was a quiet time of day and I was alone in there. A girl, whom I'd noticed and thought was pretty, walked in a tried to strike up a conversation with me while posing fetchingly. It was a real turn-on but I was too scared to let the situation develop so I got angry and ordered her to leave. The next time I looked at her, she just scowled at me.

In grade 9, a girl whom I'd been admiring from afar had one of her friends tell me that she (the one I'd been admiring) thought I "liked" her. It was true that I liked her but I was so scared of exposing my feelings for fear of rejection that I said, "Some people sure have a good imagination" -- and walked away.

Man... What an idiot, eh?

Man I empathize. Apparently I was hot when I was like 8 years old because I remember girls all over me...well, as "over me" as 8 year old girls can be but, god damnit, now I'm lucky to talk to a single girl my age per month...I don't know why but I would always get defensive and sometimes even mean when girls would ask me out.

Strange how things work out sometimes

[Dadalama]

I used to be more hopeless before, I couldn't even look at stranger's faces while talking to them, I was so introverted I was basically a bit of a cripple.

I was a social cripple in school.

In grade 6, a couple of girls on the playground said "Hi". They were just being friendly but I thought it was some new, twisted way of making fun of me so I walked away.

In grade 8, I was getting changed in the boy's changing room beside the pool in our apartment complex. It was a quiet time of day and I was alone in there. A girl, whom I'd noticed and thought was pretty, walked in a tried to strike up a conversation with me while posing fetchingly. It was a real turn-on but I was too scared to let the situation develop so I got angry and ordered her to leave. The next time I looked at her, she just scowled at me.

In grade 9, a girl whom I'd been admiring from afar had one of her friends tell me that she (the one I'd been admiring) thought I "liked" her. It was true that I liked her but I was so scared of exposing my feelings for fear of rejection that I said, "Some people sure have a good imagination" -- and walked away.

Man... What an idiot, eh?

My problem was never in the embarrassment part. My problem is I just don't have the ability to keep a conversation going. I've had many women get into me despite my lack of physical attraction (hedonism has it's downsides) but I'll always come to a part of the conversation where I don't have anything to add and I don't have any new thing to talk about. So I'll either let them talk (and listen if possible). Or I'll end it with "yeah" or "well it was good talking to you!". I've always wandered if that's when I should just blurt out my attraction to her. But even if it was on top of that how can I do it so it's not crass, but not too sterile either. One doesn't say you "you're a quiet delicious looking tart now aren't you" unless they're a masochist or only being half serious. But "I'm attracted to you" sounds boring and slightly disturbing.

[Brad Reddekopp]

I never figured out how to compliment a girl during the flirting phase, only after we'd somehow managed to get past the bizarrely difficult point of admitting that there was a mutual attraction.

Once, when I finally worked up the courage to let a young woman know that I was interested in being "more than a friend", she gave me the best and most honest response anyone had given up until that time. She told me that she didn't feel at all the same way and that she would have known within minutes of meeting me for the first time (several years before) if anything was likely to happen between us and then she would have made sure that it did happen.

She told me that she did like me a lot, but only as a friend, which I'd heard all too often and always dreaded. But, it was true. Then she told me that I should ask her sister out, which I did -- and that turned out very nicely indeed.

That is, she pointed me toward someone who was beautiful and very nice and who would actually be interested in me romantically and sexually. Ain't that a good friend?

(I'm now married to "the sister" and still friends with "the friend".)

[Hierophant]

Yea, that's what happens with retards like us. Some day, some kind woman takes pity on us and steers us in the right direction.

[Sparx]

I hope you're joking. Rationality = Retardation?
Here's my justification, if anyone feels like reading.

[Hierophant]

I admit I am a retard.

[Dadalama]

I never figured out how to compliment a girl during the flirting phase, only after we'd somehow managed to get past the bizarrely difficult point of admitting that there was a mutual attraction.

Once, when I finally worked up the courage to let a young woman know that I was interested in being "more than a friend", she gave me the best and most honest response anyone had given up until that time. She told me that she didn't feel at all the same way and that she would have known within minutes of meeting me for the first time (several years before) if anything was likely to happen between us and then she would have made sure that it did happen.

She told me that she did like me a lot, but only as a friend, which I'd heard all too often and always dreaded. But, it was true. Then she told me that I should ask her sister out, which I did -- and that turned out very nicely indeed.

That is, she pointed me toward someone who was beautiful and very nice and who would actually be interested in me romantically and sexually. Ain't that a good friend?

(I'm now married to "the sister" and still friends with "the friend".)

Congrats on the luck! I've found most women beat around the bush way too much when it comes to rejection.

I'd rather be told that I don't attract her then to be given some little indirect "hint" that she thinks I should know that she isn't into me. But that has more to do with my pride and I'm really trying to get over that. I don't like to be protected you know. I'm a big boy I can take care of myself.

[Brad Reddekopp]

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=6jkBOU9etRA